A Bitter-sweet End

Today was the day for the Division International Speech Contest. I gave a good speech. I was proud of it. I really felt I did everything right. I sat down and felt satisfied, except for one thing...

As I watched the rest of the three contestants give their speeches, one by one, I couldn't help but compare them with my own perceived performance. These guys where all polished Toastmasters veterans, so I really had my work cut out for me. I thought I really hung tough with those guys and was proud of myself, except for one thing...

As we went to the break, people - almost everyone in the auditorium - stopped me to tell me how impressed they where with my speech and how powerful it was. Like anyone would, I drank it all in. I was absolutely beaming with pride. "Nothing can keep me from winning this whole thing, except for one thing..."

We finished our intermission and the meeting resumed with the evaluation contest. The model speaker was excellent. He was a "Big Brother" with Big Brothers and Big Sisters for eight years and was telling us about his special relationship with his "Little Brother".

The four evaluators came in one by one and gave great evaluations of the speech. Evaluations where never my strong suit, so I paid particularly close attention to this portion and got a few good ideas.

Then it was time to reveal the winners. The evaluation contest was announced first, and my friend, Lilly, won second place. Then it was my turn to find out how I did. I stood a pretty good chance, except for one thing...

The announcements where made and I was not the second place winner. The first place winner was announced and that was not me either. The reason as it turned out was not one thing. It was two things!

Toward the end of the speech, I noticed that the green light turned to yellow at a point where I was supposed to be farther into the speech then I was. I tried to pick up the tempo a little to remedy the situation. Then the light turned to Red and I still wasn't finished.

30 seconds left. I finished the speech as quickly as I could, but there was a lot to say for 30 seconds.

Two seconds. Two seconds separated me from a possible trophy today. I was Two seconds over the seven and one half minutes allowed to us.

Would I have won first place? I don't know. And quite frankly, I'm not really sure I want to know.

Now it's time to share with you the best part of the day. During the break something happened that I didn't tell you about. I was asked by a fellow Toastmaster to deliver a speech in front of his company.

Yes, it's true, I didn't win today, but I did walk out with something else that could be more valuable then a trophy. I walked out with an opportunity. How big is this opportunity? I don't know. I guess that is up to me to decide.

Thoughts on the Don Imus Fiasco

A few months ago, on "The View", Rosie O'Donnell said Christianity is just as dangerous as Radical Islam. I am a devout Catholic and as a Christian I was taken aback by this comment. But, first, like I said in the previous blog, I considered the source. Rosie O'Donnell is an extremely angry and sad woman. But, second and most important, I acknowledged her right to say what is on her mind, even if it is lunacy.

Do I disagree with what O'Donnell said? Like I said, I am a devout Catholic, you figure it out. Do I think she should lose her job? No!

The fact is, if she where to undergo the attacks Don Imus has this past week, I would feel the need to stick up for her right to be so totally and absolutely wrong.

Why? Because if she loses her right to speak, then it will not be long before I lose my right to speak. I'm afraid if we begin firing people and "blacklisting" them for the things they say, we will be well on our way to losing our freedom. (By the way, it was not an accident that I used the word "Blacklisting")

Well, as of this evening, my nightmare may be beginning.

Was what Don Imus said insulting and idiotic? That would be understating things. Did he deserve to be fired? Not in the United States I am familiar with.

The United States I am familiar with is a place where speech is not stifled. Un-stifled speech allows us to talk things out before they reach a damaging impasse. The United States I am familiar with is one where I am able to express my opinions, no matter how crazy they may seem. The United States I am familiar with is a place where I can be whatever I want to be. The United States I am familiar with has a First Amendment which allows me to be offensive with my opinions.

(Please don't give me the line about how words can hurt. I've been hurt enough by words to know, the only way they can hurt is if you give them the power to do so.)

This is a real life example of where and how we can all develop character. What Imus said was hurtful, rude, sexist and racist, but we have to remember that pain ultimately makes us stronger.

At the same time, if we fall into the temptation to whine and cry about the pain, that does the opposite. It allows us to believe life isn't about adapting and overcoming. It allows us to believe we don't need the spiritual calisthenics a situation like this provides. As a result, we become weaker.

We need to learn not to whine every time we're hurt and we need to be willing to stand up for people we don't necessarily agree with. That is an extremely difficult situation to be in. But, if we don't stand up against injustices perpetrated against our enemies, there will be no one to defend us when it is our turn.

The Lessons of Rutgers Women’s Basketball

The Don Imus comments on his show where … unfortunate to say the least. The statement was one of hate from a very hateful man. I believe Glenn Beck put it best when he said, “Don Imus hates everybody, but he hates himself the most”. But the statement was not what concerned me the most. In fact it was really nothing about Imus that concerned me most. What bothered me about this whole situation was the way the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team reacted to it.

I’ve faced a lot of hostel verbal bashing in my life and the one thing that I’ve learned is that the only way that someone can really offend you is if you give them the power to do so. And that is exactly what the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team has done.

They have allowed someone who has already been established to be a very hateful man, with many serious issued, to offend them. Rutgers Forward, Heather Zurich said during yesterday’s press conference, “Our moment here was taken away, our moment to celebrate our success”. The fact is this moment of success was not taken away by Don Imus, it was allowed to slip away by Heather Zurich, Coach C. Vivian Stringer and the rest of the Rutgers Basketball team. They’ve allowed themselves to be offended and they are the ones who are allowing the anger to burn inside their hearts.

Coach Stringer said, “Who amongst you could have heard these comments and not be upset?” Well, since she asked, I may as well answer. I wouldn’t have been upset. Why? Well, first of all I’ve been called a lot worse then a “nappy-headed ho”. Second, consider the source. The fact is the Rutgers Basketball team shouldn’t be offended; they should be looking upon Don Imus with pity.

He is just a sad man, who is not happy with the way his life has turned out and his comment is only a symptom of that.

The Rutgers Women worked hard to get to where they are and they have every right to pat them selves on the back. It just bothers me that they would leave one stupid comment destroy all of their hard work and accomplishments.

I would hope that we could all learn a lesson from this situation. The lesson is when someone offends us, we need to first consider the source. If the source is anybody like Don Imus, we need not give that person the power to destroy our lives. If we do, we are not only dragging ourselves down, we are also giving the offender validation.

Unfortunately, I believe that most people who have become familiar with this story over the past few days will not learn this lesson, because most of the media is busy talking about how bad a person Don Imus is. Ultimately this is going to give Imus all the free publicity he has ever wanted and, at least for a short time, he will be more popular then he has been in years. And as long as the Rutgers team chooses to let their anger simmer, they will not have a chance to enjoy the fruits of their labor.