Today was the day for the Division International Speech Contest. I gave a good speech. I was proud of it. I really felt I did everything right. I sat down and felt satisfied, except for one thing...
As I watched the rest of the three contestants give their speeches, one by one, I couldn't help but compare them with my own perceived performance. These guys where all polished Toastmasters veterans, so I really had my work cut out for me. I thought I really hung tough with those guys and was proud of myself, except for one thing...
As we went to the break, people - almost everyone in the auditorium - stopped me to tell me how impressed they where with my speech and how powerful it was. Like anyone would, I drank it all in. I was absolutely beaming with pride. "Nothing can keep me from winning this whole thing, except for one thing..."
We finished our intermission and the meeting resumed with the evaluation contest. The model speaker was excellent. He was a "Big Brother" with Big Brothers and Big Sisters for eight years and was telling us about his special relationship with his "Little Brother".
The four evaluators came in one by one and gave great evaluations of the speech. Evaluations where never my strong suit, so I paid particularly close attention to this portion and got a few good ideas.
Then it was time to reveal the winners. The evaluation contest was announced first, and my friend, Lilly, won second place. Then it was my turn to find out how I did. I stood a pretty good chance, except for one thing...
The announcements where made and I was not the second place winner. The first place winner was announced and that was not me either. The reason as it turned out was not one thing. It was two things!
Toward the end of the speech, I noticed that the green light turned to yellow at a point where I was supposed to be farther into the speech then I was. I tried to pick up the tempo a little to remedy the situation. Then the light turned to Red and I still wasn't finished.
30 seconds left. I finished the speech as quickly as I could, but there was a lot to say for 30 seconds.
Two seconds. Two seconds separated me from a possible trophy today. I was Two seconds over the seven and one half minutes allowed to us.
Would I have won first place? I don't know. And quite frankly, I'm not really sure I want to know.
Now it's time to share with you the best part of the day. During the break something happened that I didn't tell you about. I was asked by a fellow Toastmaster to deliver a speech in front of his company.
Yes, it's true, I didn't win today, but I did walk out with something else that could be more valuable then a trophy. I walked out with an opportunity. How big is this opportunity? I don't know. I guess that is up to me to decide.
Showing posts with label character. Show all posts
Showing posts with label character. Show all posts
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Lessons in Character
On June 20, 1933, Ernest took another look at his father as he left the house. Ernest's heart broke at the sight of his father standing on the porch with his shoulders slumped and his posture broken. His father promised his mother the world, but as a poor farmer, he was unable to deliver.
No matter how hard he worked, Ernest's father was never able to get his family out of squalor. His life, he felt, was a total failure.
In the past, Ernest tried to talk his father into a new business idea, but his father dismissed the idea as ridiculous, because that type of business was illegal the United States.
After Ernest left, the old farmer went into the house and picked up his pistol and walked out to the field where his wife was working and shot her in the back of the head. He then went back into the house and took his own life.
If only Ernest's father had learned the lesson that a man named R. U. Darby had learned years before, maybe he would have looked at the situation a little differently.
R. U. Darby was employed by his uncle to go to Colorado to help dig up a gold vein he had found. They got loans from family and friends to buy the equipment they needed to bring up the gold and when they got to Colorado, they got straight to work. They brought up enough gold to pay off all of their loans, but shortly after, the vein disappeared. They dug around, but where unable to find any more gold.
Discouraged, they sold all of their equipment and the land to a junk man for a few hundred dollars. The junk man hired an engineer to look at the mine and he discovered that, because of a fault line, the gold vein was broken in half and the rest of the gold would be found just three feet below where R. U. Darby and his uncle stopped digging and the junk man went on to become a millionaire many times over.
Mr. Darby now had a choice to make. He could have wallowed in his failure and suffered on his cross of discouragement, or he could have learned from his choice to give up.
How many times are we faced with this choice? Sometimes we find ourselves in a period of despair and discouragement. Maybe we have just experienced a catastrophic failure in our lives. The failure may seem to be so great that it may take the rest of our lives just to recover.
How easy is it to throw our hands up and say, "I quit"? How easy would it be to just go home and sit in front of the T.V. and make no attempt to redeem ourselves, after a hug failure?
How hard is it to pick ourselves up after a humiliating defeat? How hard is it to face the same struggles that have embarrassed and humiliated us in the past?
We all know that the former is much easier to do, but it is the latter that makes us what we are as human beings. If we decide, against the odds, that we are going to go back for more abuse and pain and humiliation, all in the name of some kind of success, it is then that we are making the greatest investment in ourselves.
Education is great. You can do a lot, if you are educated. Work experience is also wonderful. But, the best investment we can make in ourselves is an investment in character.
Character is the basic building block of success. And the only way you can develop character is through the use of courage and persistence. If you have the courage to get up off the ground, and try again, and you have the persistence to get up off the ground no matter how many times you fall, you will develop very strong character and you will ultimately succeed. And more then likely, your success will be far greater then you ever expected.
In many stories, surveys, interviews and studies of the most successful people in the world, we find that many of them have faced the most difficult and catastrophic failures just before they realized there greatest successes.
It is these failures and disappointments that develop our character and ultimately make us successful in all of our endeavors. The motivational speaker and author Napoleon Hill said it best when he wrote "Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit"
R. U. Darby learned this very well. He decided to take the road of character development. He created a slogan for himself which he repeated as often as he could. He said "I stopped three feet from gold, but I never stop because men say no". When ever things looked bleakest to him, he decided to "dig three more feet". As a result he became one of the leading insurance sails men in the country, making annual profits of well over a million dollars.
If Ernest's father had only learned this lesson and just waited five more months before falling victim to despair, he would have been able to be a part of the venture that Ernest and his brother started. They where raisin farmers, like their father. And when prohibition was repealed, only five months after their parents' death, they went to the local library and found a recipe for wine. They stopped growing grapes for raisins and began making wine. Despite having to compete with over 800 other wineries in California alone, Ernest and Julio Gallo where able to build one of the largest wine producers in the world.
No matter how hard he worked, Ernest's father was never able to get his family out of squalor. His life, he felt, was a total failure.
In the past, Ernest tried to talk his father into a new business idea, but his father dismissed the idea as ridiculous, because that type of business was illegal the United States.
After Ernest left, the old farmer went into the house and picked up his pistol and walked out to the field where his wife was working and shot her in the back of the head. He then went back into the house and took his own life.
If only Ernest's father had learned the lesson that a man named R. U. Darby had learned years before, maybe he would have looked at the situation a little differently.
R. U. Darby was employed by his uncle to go to Colorado to help dig up a gold vein he had found. They got loans from family and friends to buy the equipment they needed to bring up the gold and when they got to Colorado, they got straight to work. They brought up enough gold to pay off all of their loans, but shortly after, the vein disappeared. They dug around, but where unable to find any more gold.
Discouraged, they sold all of their equipment and the land to a junk man for a few hundred dollars. The junk man hired an engineer to look at the mine and he discovered that, because of a fault line, the gold vein was broken in half and the rest of the gold would be found just three feet below where R. U. Darby and his uncle stopped digging and the junk man went on to become a millionaire many times over.
Mr. Darby now had a choice to make. He could have wallowed in his failure and suffered on his cross of discouragement, or he could have learned from his choice to give up.
How many times are we faced with this choice? Sometimes we find ourselves in a period of despair and discouragement. Maybe we have just experienced a catastrophic failure in our lives. The failure may seem to be so great that it may take the rest of our lives just to recover.
How easy is it to throw our hands up and say, "I quit"? How easy would it be to just go home and sit in front of the T.V. and make no attempt to redeem ourselves, after a hug failure?
How hard is it to pick ourselves up after a humiliating defeat? How hard is it to face the same struggles that have embarrassed and humiliated us in the past?
We all know that the former is much easier to do, but it is the latter that makes us what we are as human beings. If we decide, against the odds, that we are going to go back for more abuse and pain and humiliation, all in the name of some kind of success, it is then that we are making the greatest investment in ourselves.
Education is great. You can do a lot, if you are educated. Work experience is also wonderful. But, the best investment we can make in ourselves is an investment in character.
Character is the basic building block of success. And the only way you can develop character is through the use of courage and persistence. If you have the courage to get up off the ground, and try again, and you have the persistence to get up off the ground no matter how many times you fall, you will develop very strong character and you will ultimately succeed. And more then likely, your success will be far greater then you ever expected.
In many stories, surveys, interviews and studies of the most successful people in the world, we find that many of them have faced the most difficult and catastrophic failures just before they realized there greatest successes.
It is these failures and disappointments that develop our character and ultimately make us successful in all of our endeavors. The motivational speaker and author Napoleon Hill said it best when he wrote "Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit"
R. U. Darby learned this very well. He decided to take the road of character development. He created a slogan for himself which he repeated as often as he could. He said "I stopped three feet from gold, but I never stop because men say no". When ever things looked bleakest to him, he decided to "dig three more feet". As a result he became one of the leading insurance sails men in the country, making annual profits of well over a million dollars.
If Ernest's father had only learned this lesson and just waited five more months before falling victim to despair, he would have been able to be a part of the venture that Ernest and his brother started. They where raisin farmers, like their father. And when prohibition was repealed, only five months after their parents' death, they went to the local library and found a recipe for wine. They stopped growing grapes for raisins and began making wine. Despite having to compete with over 800 other wineries in California alone, Ernest and Julio Gallo where able to build one of the largest wine producers in the world.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Narcissism Study and the Self Esteem Teachers
In an AP article entitled “Study: College Students More Narcissistic”, it was revealed that a group of five psychologists headed by Professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University have been conducting a study on Narcissism in our colleges since 1982.
In this study they asked college students to fill out a Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI). For the past 25 years. What thy found was the number of students that can be considered narcissistic has risen by 30 percent in the time of the study and two thirds of students now have above average scores.
The group traced the cause of the rise back to the self-esteem movement. This of coarse is where a teacher stands in front of the room and tells the kids they are special and the teacher proves it by giving the students grades they didn’t earn. More recently schools are now abandoning red pens in favor of purple pens to save the children from the horrible fate of seeing an “F” written in the tyrannical color. But that’s a different post.
This exercise was meant to build self-esteem and character in a nice harmless atmosphere, instead it has caused the subjects of this little experiment to become narcissistic.
Co-Author Dr. W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia stated that narcissism can help with confidence however, he also pointed out that narcissism can also create a whole host of other problems. Both Dr. Campbell and Professor Twenge pointed out that Narcissism can cause:
Breakdowns in close relationships
High risk of infidelity
Lack of emotional warmth
Dishonesty
Over-control and violent behavior
Lack of Empathy
Aggressive reaction to criticism
Favoritism of self-promotion over helping others
Professor Campbell did offer a solution to the problem which some may consider to be politically incorrect (which is just fine with me). The solution is more authoritative parenting and less indulgence.
This solution makes perfect sense. The only thing that bothers me is that a college professor is saying it as if we wouldn’t know this. May be what is more disturbing is that most of us don’t know. Thus the reason for this blog … which nobody reads … yet … because, I’m special …
This goes to show you that if you try to make nature work in a way it was not intended, you will usually get results that you never expected. For example, you saw in this news story of how the “teaching” of self esteem and character did not lead to self esteem or character. It led to their alter-ego, Narcissism.
Self esteem can not be taught, it can only be earned. And Character can’t be taught either, it can only be developed through the successful acquisition of self esteem.
In this study they asked college students to fill out a Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI). For the past 25 years. What thy found was the number of students that can be considered narcissistic has risen by 30 percent in the time of the study and two thirds of students now have above average scores.
The group traced the cause of the rise back to the self-esteem movement. This of coarse is where a teacher stands in front of the room and tells the kids they are special and the teacher proves it by giving the students grades they didn’t earn. More recently schools are now abandoning red pens in favor of purple pens to save the children from the horrible fate of seeing an “F” written in the tyrannical color. But that’s a different post.
This exercise was meant to build self-esteem and character in a nice harmless atmosphere, instead it has caused the subjects of this little experiment to become narcissistic.
Co-Author Dr. W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia stated that narcissism can help with confidence however, he also pointed out that narcissism can also create a whole host of other problems. Both Dr. Campbell and Professor Twenge pointed out that Narcissism can cause:
Breakdowns in close relationships
High risk of infidelity
Lack of emotional warmth
Dishonesty
Over-control and violent behavior
Lack of Empathy
Aggressive reaction to criticism
Favoritism of self-promotion over helping others
Professor Campbell did offer a solution to the problem which some may consider to be politically incorrect (which is just fine with me). The solution is more authoritative parenting and less indulgence.
This solution makes perfect sense. The only thing that bothers me is that a college professor is saying it as if we wouldn’t know this. May be what is more disturbing is that most of us don’t know. Thus the reason for this blog … which nobody reads … yet … because, I’m special …
This goes to show you that if you try to make nature work in a way it was not intended, you will usually get results that you never expected. For example, you saw in this news story of how the “teaching” of self esteem and character did not lead to self esteem or character. It led to their alter-ego, Narcissism.
Self esteem can not be taught, it can only be earned. And Character can’t be taught either, it can only be developed through the successful acquisition of self esteem.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Letter from an American Hero
“It is not in the still calm of life or the repose of a pacific station that grate characters are formed. The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. Great necessities call out great virtues. When a mind is raised and animated by scenes that engage the heart, then those qualities which would otherwise lay dormant wake into life and form the character of the hero and statesman.”
This statement was written by a little known American hero. Her name was Abigail Adams. If the name sounds familiar, it should. She was the wife of John Adams, our second president and the mother of John Quincy Adams, our sixth president. She wrote this statement in a letter to her son.
John Adams had to go to France during the Revolutionary War to work out a treaty with the French. He was to go with another great American hero, Benjamin Franklin. Because Mr. Franklin was going, Abigail and her husband realized that this was an extraordinary opportunity for their son.
John Adams and Abigail Adams both grew up in very poor farming families and nether had much of an education. When John Quincy arrived on the scene, they decided that he would be highly educated. So, they took every opportunity they could to educate their young son. And an opportunity had just arisen in the form of Benjamin Franklin.
On the voyage over to France and on the way back there would be lots of down time and while in France there would be educational opportunities as well. Abigail and John knew that if their son could spend time with Benjamin Franklin while he did his experiments during the down times as well as witness treaty negotiations, that would be a much better education then he could get in any school. So, they decided that it was important for John Quincy to go with his father.
The trip over would be very dangerous. The voyage would take place in the winter time when the seas where at there worst. On top of that, they would have to run an English blockade. Even if they where able to run the blockade, surely the English would be looking for them and trying to stop them before they got to France. John Quincy knew all of this and was not very happy about it.
John Quincy did not want to go, but they knew that this experience of dealing with these difficulties would help him to grow in ways that he could not even fathom.
So as a part of convincing John Quincy to go along with the plan his mother wrote the letter with the above statement in it.
This statement is a very powerful one, especially in this day and age. I believe it is so powerful because we lost the knowledge that true intelligence comes from solving problems and "contending with difficulties". And self-esteem can not be taught, it is earned.
Political Correctness is one of my biggest pet peeves. I believe that Political Correctness is robbing us of our freedom as well as a good education. We spend so much time worrying about our children's feelings that we are forgetting to teach them. And we are spending so much time trying to make our children's lives antiseptic of pain and disappointment that we don't realize we're also taking away a chance for them to develop real character.
Character is so very important for our children to have and if we raze an entire generation without character it makes me worry about the future of, not just our nation, but our society.
I hope we can take a lesson form the Adams' and remember where real intelligence comes from.
In future blogs I will be writing more about the poison known as Political Correctness because one can not begin to be motivated or inspired without first developing character. And one can not develop character without overcoming the pain of disappointment and failure.
This statement was written by a little known American hero. Her name was Abigail Adams. If the name sounds familiar, it should. She was the wife of John Adams, our second president and the mother of John Quincy Adams, our sixth president. She wrote this statement in a letter to her son.
John Adams had to go to France during the Revolutionary War to work out a treaty with the French. He was to go with another great American hero, Benjamin Franklin. Because Mr. Franklin was going, Abigail and her husband realized that this was an extraordinary opportunity for their son.
John Adams and Abigail Adams both grew up in very poor farming families and nether had much of an education. When John Quincy arrived on the scene, they decided that he would be highly educated. So, they took every opportunity they could to educate their young son. And an opportunity had just arisen in the form of Benjamin Franklin.
On the voyage over to France and on the way back there would be lots of down time and while in France there would be educational opportunities as well. Abigail and John knew that if their son could spend time with Benjamin Franklin while he did his experiments during the down times as well as witness treaty negotiations, that would be a much better education then he could get in any school. So, they decided that it was important for John Quincy to go with his father.
The trip over would be very dangerous. The voyage would take place in the winter time when the seas where at there worst. On top of that, they would have to run an English blockade. Even if they where able to run the blockade, surely the English would be looking for them and trying to stop them before they got to France. John Quincy knew all of this and was not very happy about it.
John Quincy did not want to go, but they knew that this experience of dealing with these difficulties would help him to grow in ways that he could not even fathom.
So as a part of convincing John Quincy to go along with the plan his mother wrote the letter with the above statement in it.
This statement is a very powerful one, especially in this day and age. I believe it is so powerful because we lost the knowledge that true intelligence comes from solving problems and "contending with difficulties". And self-esteem can not be taught, it is earned.
Political Correctness is one of my biggest pet peeves. I believe that Political Correctness is robbing us of our freedom as well as a good education. We spend so much time worrying about our children's feelings that we are forgetting to teach them. And we are spending so much time trying to make our children's lives antiseptic of pain and disappointment that we don't realize we're also taking away a chance for them to develop real character.
Character is so very important for our children to have and if we raze an entire generation without character it makes me worry about the future of, not just our nation, but our society.
I hope we can take a lesson form the Adams' and remember where real intelligence comes from.
In future blogs I will be writing more about the poison known as Political Correctness because one can not begin to be motivated or inspired without first developing character. And one can not develop character without overcoming the pain of disappointment and failure.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Welcome to my "Little Engine Blog".
Welcome!
I named this blog after my favorite childhood story, "The Little Engine That Could", because I think my life has been a lot like that little engine's struggle. I've been struggling up hill most of my life.
First of all I was born into a poor family. I can't say that we where in poverty but we where pretty close. My parents never owned a car and they never owned their own home. I also had a learning problem that was never officially diagnosed; however, I always suspected it was a form of dyslexia.
The latter caused me most of my problems in school. I failed and repeated first and Third grades and came very close to repeating sixth grade as well. In Tenth grade, seriously considered dropping out of school. Considering most of my problems throughout school, most people probably wouldn't have blamed me for giving up, but I was not in a family like most. My family had a lot of faith in me, far more faith then I had in myself. As a result, I stayed in school and kept saying "I think I can, I think I can".
It's a good thing too, because as it turned out eleventh and twelfth grades turned out to be the easiest years in school. I was able to pick up momentum and speed before I hit the brick wall called U.S. Navy "A" School.
I graduated second ... from last in my class and went on to the fleet where I landed on a ship with a lousy workshop supervisor. I learned next to nothing under him, but I did have some time to work on my work ethic and character with different kinds of physically challenging ship board work.
When I got out of the Navy, I went back to school. I struggled my way through school. As in high school, I began to think seriously about quitting but my girlfriend, my future wife, wouldn't let me give up on myself either. Like my family, she too had far more faith in me then I had in myself. Looking back, especially to that point in my life, I realize that I owe my wife my life, because it was her belief in me that gave me one.
After I got out of school, I went to work with an engineering firm, who quickly showed me how much I have to learn about engineering. At one point I was told I had three months to catch up on what I needed to learn or I would be canned. This was easily one of the most depressing points in my life. I was being rejected from the career I had been preparing for since high school.
I really felt like all my dreams where about to end. I had already been working hard to learn the job and here I was at the edge of a cataclysmic disaster.
I spent the next three months doubling my efforts and looking for another job. But two things happened. My wife got pregnant and my boss called me into the conference room again, this time to tell me that he was pleased with my progress.
That is where I am today. I'm not working with the same firm, but I am with a firm that I like very much and earning the money I believe I deserve.
I'm here because of my wife, my family and a children's story that was read to me over and over again many years ago.
I believe I am going to have fun writing these blogs and I hope someone will read them and be inspired to keep on saying to themselves "I know I can, I know I can".
I named this blog after my favorite childhood story, "The Little Engine That Could", because I think my life has been a lot like that little engine's struggle. I've been struggling up hill most of my life.
First of all I was born into a poor family. I can't say that we where in poverty but we where pretty close. My parents never owned a car and they never owned their own home. I also had a learning problem that was never officially diagnosed; however, I always suspected it was a form of dyslexia.
The latter caused me most of my problems in school. I failed and repeated first and Third grades and came very close to repeating sixth grade as well. In Tenth grade, seriously considered dropping out of school. Considering most of my problems throughout school, most people probably wouldn't have blamed me for giving up, but I was not in a family like most. My family had a lot of faith in me, far more faith then I had in myself. As a result, I stayed in school and kept saying "I think I can, I think I can".
It's a good thing too, because as it turned out eleventh and twelfth grades turned out to be the easiest years in school. I was able to pick up momentum and speed before I hit the brick wall called U.S. Navy "A" School.
I graduated second ... from last in my class and went on to the fleet where I landed on a ship with a lousy workshop supervisor. I learned next to nothing under him, but I did have some time to work on my work ethic and character with different kinds of physically challenging ship board work.
When I got out of the Navy, I went back to school. I struggled my way through school. As in high school, I began to think seriously about quitting but my girlfriend, my future wife, wouldn't let me give up on myself either. Like my family, she too had far more faith in me then I had in myself. Looking back, especially to that point in my life, I realize that I owe my wife my life, because it was her belief in me that gave me one.
After I got out of school, I went to work with an engineering firm, who quickly showed me how much I have to learn about engineering. At one point I was told I had three months to catch up on what I needed to learn or I would be canned. This was easily one of the most depressing points in my life. I was being rejected from the career I had been preparing for since high school.
I really felt like all my dreams where about to end. I had already been working hard to learn the job and here I was at the edge of a cataclysmic disaster.
I spent the next three months doubling my efforts and looking for another job. But two things happened. My wife got pregnant and my boss called me into the conference room again, this time to tell me that he was pleased with my progress.
That is where I am today. I'm not working with the same firm, but I am with a firm that I like very much and earning the money I believe I deserve.
I'm here because of my wife, my family and a children's story that was read to me over and over again many years ago.
I believe I am going to have fun writing these blogs and I hope someone will read them and be inspired to keep on saying to themselves "I know I can, I know I can".
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